To answer the following question from an active participant in the forum "alt.religion.scientology"
INFORMATION : I wrote this text to answer the following question from an active participant
in the forum "alt.religion.scientology"
I am curious as to what people thought when they encountered the OT
Its main purpose is to make some account on the various implications someone could experiment while in scientology" upper levels".
I have already given this stuff in my book, but it's in french; i'll therefore write this more detailed due to the public i'm addressing to - here; i have to start with OT 2 to recall some of my approach on OT 3./
I suppose that it is more interesting to do it quite completely to show the inter-relationship between many factors leading to different feelings about OT levels, rather than just saying it briefly.
After having gotten through OT2 extremely boring and uninteresting materials - i did not do 10 times the some eighty pages of questions and so-called processes it includes, those ten times being asked for in the first version of OT2 matrials by Hubbard - i was somewhat puzzled at what would be the next - the 'wall of fire'. In OT II, i had clearly imagined that the small observation done by elwrong 'Hubbard) in the course of OT2 ("DO NOT RUN ANY BOMB INCIDENT") had something to do with the next step, and i never imagined what, though i can boast being and having always been somewhat high on imagination's and fantasies' side.
Nevertheless, OT 2 showed extremely boring, and getting thousands of small falls or falls and rare LFs or LFBDs, (moves of the needle on the e-meter) made me think i was myself, with my own mind, making those reads to happen on the e-meter.
I had always been a very easy case, responding well to auditing and training, as long as i had no "overruning" auditor unable to see what was a cognition or "End phenomenon" - or, in the courses, when facing a course supervisor or cramming officer unable to understand that i had answered the questions exactly -I'm not a patient boy, though i've been able to get a Gold Medal in European contest for Modelling in Paris -1988- the first time i tried to run the contest.
There were no real mental charges on OT 2, whatever i did, and i got few "cognitions from it"; but i ran it at lengths until i decided i was myself getting the reads because i was awaiting them -the placebo effect underlined by Jens Tingleff's message two days ago, and somewhat of a proof for the following fact: when we believe, we can do things.
More interesting, i got a bit in love with a girl who was on OT 2 at the same time (platonical, we never even french-kissed each other and we remained 'ethical'!), near the end of my OT2 running. This added to my complete "disconnection from" that "level OT2".
As I had already found the OT 1 being some sort of a scam - half a day work and childish methods - and as i had already some doubts upon LRH's true purposes due to the large number of times i had questioned him on precisely laid out points of tech which were evidently questionable during the past 5 years, and as his lack of proper answers added to my doubts on scientology, i nevertheless arranged myself with my feelings about him, because i had friends saying that the whole thing (scientology OT levels) was fantastic and this sort of qualifications.
A further distraction came from the fact that i had a small physical condition happening then: an armpit's hair growing inside my skin provoked a enormous (egg's size) abcess; i had to operate it myself with a cutter on a morning, and I called for the doctor in DK to get some antibiotics - this, without reporting it on scieno lines, because i knew better what to do to avoid possible complications with them. (I was myself enough of a technician to know that i could be misunderstood by scienos technicians and then, sent on unuseful scieno handlings, as i had already had some problems recurrently with that "reversing hair" since years and before scientology.)
Then, i came on OT3 course, after some "security checkings" - far less severe than to-day security checkings in 1980 - and opened the pack.
I read the first handwritten page, and determined immediately, when reading the page, that elwrong was Xenu and that he was sort of "expiating his past sins" and teaching us the way out now; but, as i had done for OT1 and 2, i had nevertheless some doubts about the truth of it all and i kept my doubts on him, because if he had been Xenu, he was also able to try to re-trap us. That was the sort of self-rationalization scientologists were and are mostlty trapped into!
Having read the book History of a Man since years, and having never run any incident from this book during my some 200 hours auditing from past grades (from Life Repair to Grade 4), the Xenu's story looked as well some sort of elwrong's own track adapted for others, like i had already thought his "History of Man" was his own account of his track - I was wrong also there, as the History of a Man account is factually just a crap piece of scam, a make-believe as most of scientology is.
Please remember that at that time, i had this "solid" experience of 200 hours of auditing on the "Time Track"; i can add that the most "charged incidents" were always those of this present life, not those of past lives. (by 'charged incidents", i mean those having provoked on me the strongest cries or misemotions, or weepings; most past-lives incidents did not do this sort of effect on me: i was looking at them rather spectatorily).
After some more rationalizations, i started applying the "study tech" i had already used on Clearing Course, OT 1 and OT 2 courses and auditing. Interesting fact, i was one of the very best translators in french at that time, and i had already corrected mountains of big errors, nonsenses and mistranslations on those packs of materials (i have probably reported on this on scieno lines while studying CC, OT 1 and 2.)
I was therefore not surprised at all to see other misinterpretations, countersenses et al. while reading OT3. I corrected those as well, having sometimes to rewrite a complete HCOBulletin, but this added to my doubts, because i knew personally that some of the french people having done those levels before me were unable to spot those errors, and had therefore run OT 1,2,3 with sometimes big misunderstoods on the tech to apply; it seems nevertheless that those people had been able to get through without special problems, even when applying "out-tech", and it seems as well that there out-techs were'nt observed by Class 12 Case Supervisors C/Sing their folders and sessions!
So, i decided once again to keep on trying, and i started the auditing. The girl with whom i had fell a bit in love was also on OT 3 then; she was a very very special case, indeed:
Why? She was 21, only one year in scientology, had been audited only 10 hours on lower grades, and had been the first one in Europe to be declared "Natural Clear" and accepted on OT levels as soon (she had the money). Nevertheless, she managed very easily through OT I, 2, and 3 - while those "sort of people" were no longer allowed on OT levels some weeks later.
I started auditing "Body Thetans", without much interest; i had then a bit forgotten that on OT2, i had observed the e-meters reads were coming out of me, not necessarily from incidents".
I therefore had the same reads, and kept on doing conscientiously my auditing job, hoping something really strong to happen... Nothing such ever happened, and i kept on locating somatics, BTs or clusters, and auditing them as such, (going sometimes to Incident One '4 quadrillions years cherubs, trumpets, and such craps), or even to "past universes" to this universe with some small "cognitions" or "realisations" as anybody outside or inside scientology can have while thinking on life or on him/herself during a lot of time. Normal TA activity, normal processing... no miracles here
As well, I kept on my doubts on the real validity of such processes, because i saw some people becoming crazy then while doing the "Wall of Fire". Some I knew lost some abilities they had before, or were VERY HIGHLY PERTURBATED each time they had to leave the advanced org to return home, because of supposed restimulation of BTs and clusters and interdiction to audit them without the appropriate Case supervision: one of those rules perfectly stupid in scamtology tchurdch's "laser tek".
I did this for around 60 hours, and decided some day i had enough of it and had the End Phenomenon of OT 3 :" Being alone in one's universe" or such. I was, by the fact, and has ever been and could never be different than being myself, but this is another story!
Two days later, i came back (with a bad grin, because having felt other somatics and supposed BTs coming in) to the org, reporting i was unflat on OT 3 level; i was in very bad fear they would put me immediately on an ethic's cycle, because i felt as if i had attested falsely, which is a "capital crime" in scientology, and therefore very severely punished!!
But they did not get me on ethics lines, they just asked me to do OTVII right now (at the time, the correct way was; OT 1,2,3, then OT 7, then OT 3 Expanded, then OT 4,5,6,7.
I then went onto OT VII: a childish history or placing one's intention into other peoples, like when you audit "BTs" placing your intention into them. Some hours were enough to attest this short level.
And back on the same version of OT3 i had just left. And back to audit BTs; i never pardoned Hubbard this : considering then that he was the one preaching that false attestations were very high crimes, he was in sort pushing us to do false attestations, knowing - before us being able to realize - that we had to get back on his soup some time later! Had I become really stupid and rondroïd!
Then it was the NOTs levels (the NOTs are now OT levels from 4 to 8). And re-back-re-back on BTs and such.
As already written on a.r.s., i came out from OT's delusions because some factors happened: my org was one of the best european ones; nevertheless FOLO Europe was on my back, trying to get something to take my 'power' in their lines; pricelists were becoming dement - they went from minimum 66 F for one auditing hour to around 1000 F in four years; i was therefore under heavy pressures in my job as well as in auditing, where i started auditing BTs or Clusters who were not only on my body, but on other people bodies simultaneously...
I was considering that action of touching to others as a treason and a forbidden thing; i had no reason to interfere on people unconscious of my "actions". (This shows also that i was becoming more and more crazy and rondroïd).
I felt this was sort of black or white magic i was not allowed to do (for me it is the same sort of "sin" to do that that it is for OTs and every person thinking she/he's highly developed spiritually, to boast her/his pretended or even real super-powers.
Then the ethics cycle went on, and i left this all, was deprived of my org, deprived of my revenues, left with high personal debts coming from scientology matters, and my wife and boys without job as well! I nevertheless took three times or four my e-meter to "wash up some BTs", as i believed yet them factual. Something like two months later, i abandoned totally the e-meter, and washed up BTs by simple inspection and "go-away" orders.
And a bit later, examining the whole of Hubbardisms and theories, i became more and more able to see the lot of this as MERE CRAPS; and was never bothered by BTs and Clusters since.
I then used my knowledge to get people out of this, and am yet doing it.
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